I asked a few local people that I met where else I should go for a day trip, and they told me Killarney. So away I went! I wasn’t sure what to expect because I was told to go to the National Park, and to watch my wallet, two things that don’t often intersect. The town itself is really cute; brightly colored buildings, little side streets, jam-packed with old pubs, ice cream booths, and little shops. But pretty touristy, hence the ‘watch your pockets,’ although I doubt it’s really a problem.

I headed out to the National Park and the lakes early, thinking I might beat the heat of the day. It has been nothing but sunny for the last week, and in the upper 70s/lower 80s. Not what I was told to expect in Ireland! It took awhile to get to the park, walking along the main road, but it was rewarding once I got to the coolness of the woods and the lake.

I eventually found this awesome friary that was built around 1445. You can walk all around inside and I felt like a kid getting lost in little passages and hidden stairwells. Then I had a lovely picnic lunch in the courtyard!

On my walk back to town I got a surprise; It was Saturday and was the finish day for a bike race around Kerry! It was amusing to hear and see all of the bikers flying past, and then annoying when I got to town and found the place mobbed!! I walked around for a bit and then finally found a pub with one free seat outside. It was so hot out that all I wanted was a cold beer, and after a discussion I had with someone (from Dublin) about how the other stouts are better than Guiness (which has its factory in Dublin), I ordered a Murphys and a water. And when I went to take them off the bar, the barkeep gave me a slightly flabbergast look and took the beer back! “You need to give it a few minutes to settle, and then I’ll top it off for you! Go on and sit down, I’ll bring it when it’s ready.” Well! Rookie mistake! I can’t remember ever being told off in the states for taking my beer before it settles! Maybe I just don’t drink enough! (kidding) But I certainly appreciated the whole thing. Now I know better! He delivered it to me, frosty and with a perfect head, and proudly declared, “It should look something like that.”

On my last free day I went south to Kinsale. Another cute coastal town, and this one had an arts festival going on! I had a beautiful walk around the harbor to Charles Fort, a star-shaped fort from the 1600s, which was the cutting edge in siege warfare since any point in the perimeter could be targeted by at least two turrets at any time. The fort was in use by the British army until 1922, and again, you get pretty much free roam of the place.

That super thick wall in the middle is a two-meter thick blast wall that protected the gun powder room!

Tomorrow I head back to my temporary home in Wales. And it’s interesting, as I am on my way to a stable place, suddenly I am struggling with the big question of “why,” as last week I was struggling with the “what.” I have reasons to go back to the States, and no distinct reason to stay either where I am, or the more vague “out of the US.” So why do I feel so strongly about it? What really is my purpose? What am I hoping to find/gain/learn? As I said, I’m learning to trust my instincts more and go with my deep down feelings, but as I’m looking at the map of the world I feel pulled in many directions suddenly. So why am I making the decisions that I am?

In one of the books I’m reading at the moment it talks about a Peace Pagoda that a group of Buddhist monks from Japan were building at the Ground Zero Center for Nonviolent Action out near Port Townsend, Oregon (where they assembled nuclear bombs). During construction the county revoked their building permit, but, “Each day the monks come to chant and pray around the skeleton of the unfinished pagoda.” (This book was written in the 80s and I don’t know what has happened since.) I was struck by the image because, yeah, I’m for world peace, but I’m in awe of that kind of commitment to a singular idea. And here I am with this vague journey in my mind, and it has taken me until now to really, really think about why.

I am not despairing, just searching, questioning, and sometimes struggling. There are few times in life when it is proper to be selfish, and I think this is one, but oh, is it hard to figure out what is really best, for me, right now, not the future me, the right now me. Learning learning learning!