The name of his post is misleading. It is not that I have been dreaming of Cairo (although I have told the story about my brief time there a lot recently). Instead I am referring to a Rumi poem that I stumbled upon while I was at my Dad’s house in West Virginia last week. It is a long one, but here is some of it:

IN BAGHDAD, DREAMING OF CAIRO:
IN CAIRO, DREAMING OF BAGHDAD

“No more muffled drums!
Uncover the drumheads!

Plant your flag in an open field!
No more timid peeking around.
…
Either this deep desire of mine
will be found on this journey,
or when I get back home!

It may be that the satisfaction I need
depends on my going away, so that when I’ve gone
and come back, I’ll find it at home.
…
The real truth of existence is sealed,
until after many twists and turns of the road.
…
But that knowing depends
On the time spent looking…”

Straight to my heart.

So while I’m in this limbo place of wanting to find a home again (which means I’m waiting in hopeful expectation of news from a job), I will continue my wandering so that my satisfaction will be greater when I do return home.

I landed without hiccup in Guatemala City last night and got a ride through rush hour traffic to Antigua. I was here visiting my wonderful friend Jess two years ago (almost exactly, I remember I arrived on Valentine’s Day), and have come back to share in her wedding to Choko, an equally wonderful man.

I’ve spent today slowly; laying in bed a little too long, lingering over my breakfast of eggs, beans, ranchero sauce and fried plantains, and then wandering around this little city in search of the perfect empanada for lunch:

My lunch partner:

La Merced (The Mercy) Church, completed 1767 in a classic Guatemalan baroque style. My favorite building here.

The Arch

Tomorrow I head to Lake Atitlan 3 hours west of here to take some Spanish classes, do yoga, and think.

Stuck in my mind are the things people have said to me in the last few weeks. “The new and improved!” “You are the bravest person I know” (Spoken by perhaps the bravest person that I know) and probably my favorite, “You look like you’re in sharper focus. Like all of the extraneous stuff has fallen away.”

In general I don’t feel settled, but I do feel happy. And hearing these encouraging things from my friends and family have helped motivate me to believe that this is all worth it. To refocus on how lucky I am to have the opportunity to do this. And consider how even this is temporary.