I think it is time to give an update. I haven’t done too many photogenic things, but instead of risking your withdrawal (or abandonment), here is a download:
1) I HAVE RETURNED to the Northeast, and have been received with open arms by family and friends who love me dearly. It has been a lesson in itself; my people here have shown me that to be in one place, with all of the markers of “stability” that I occasionally crave (house, partner, occupation), does NOT connote an easy life, or an ability to coast through. I have been blessed with people who I can share deeply with, and who share deeply with me, and their stories of struggle and immense growth over the last year have been inspiring. My fear of stagnation, of coming back and settling and being bored, are unfounded. Life goes on! And it is fantastic.
Great times with wonderful people:
2) I HAVE GROWN AN INCH. My grandfather came with my uncle to pick me up at the Manchester airport, and the first thing out of his mouth was “you’ve gotten taller!” My uncle and I exchanged an amused look and gently suggest that at the honorable age of 88, our height differential probably has more to do with his physique than mine. But he was insistent, and upon arrival we conceded to the test… and I measure 5’5″! After being 5’4″ most of my life! It seems my attempts to improve my posture (and months of carrying a backpack) have paid off. So now I tell people (get ready for an “Aww”) I have grown inside AND out. How poetic.
3) I have started APPLYING FOR JOBS. So far three in California and two in Utah. I have decided that I would love to live in the Bay area for a few years, if opportunity allows. I care deeply for people who have blessed my life out there and I hope I will be able to expand and improve those relationships. We’ll see if anything comes back. I am also waiting to hear from my Vermont connections which would probably be my first choice, although it would be a short-term plan.
4) I WENT TO A PODIATRIST. I suspected that I had broken or otherwise injured my foot three years ago when I was doing a lot of trail running. I have since stopped running after a physical therapist and an osteopath told me I would have no cartilage left in my knees in ten years, but the acute foot pain is recurring. It seems that a bone in the ball of my foot is separated into two pieces. Wether I was born that way and have damaged it, or wether I broke it three years ago and just didn’t let it heal, we will never know. I was given a cortisone shot and a prescription for anti-inflammatories for the week. We’ll see if that does the trick! And then… perhaps my knee problems will respond too!
5) I BOUGHT MY TICKET TO GUATEMALA. I have not planned anything beyond that, yet.
6) I have started SORTING THROUGH 8,000+ PHOTOS. There are actually 14,000+ in my library due to some kind of weird duplication thing. That was an emotional process, watching place after place, month after month flash before my eyes. Thanks Jonathan for enabling the transfer and transport of my memories.
7) I am toying with the idea of WRITING A MEMOIR. I think it would be an invaluable way to process where I’ve been and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. Truth be told, a little piece of me was hoping I would need to be off my foot for a month or two. It would be the perfect excuse to rent a villa on some Mediterranean island and sequester myself to write. But the universe has other plans. I will keep you informed of any progress on that front!
8) A WISE WOMAN REMINDED ME that “All we have when we die are our experiences and memories. That is the point of life. We can’t take anything else with us.” Existential crisis solved. (Her name is also Nicole. Coincidence…?)
I’m now at my Mom’s house in Ithaca NY, sitting in front of the wood stove on a cold (-8 degree F) day. Sorry this is a wordy post, but there you have it!
The comforts of my Aunt and Uncle’s house in CT:
A sunset drive along back roads in my favorite Vermont:
