(Sorry for the double posting today, wifi has been hard to come by in Casa and until now.)

This is what I wrote in my notebook 2 days ago, suck in an impersonal hotel outside the Casablanca Airport:

“Today after Jonathan left to start a new life in the States, I was fighting melancholy and missing so many things about my ‘home.’ But now as I sit here alone, 5 months into an epic journey, I am overcome by memories and love for the people I have met so far upon the way. So many faces appear with lessons, glue to hold me together, and warmth. And I know there will be more. The Love will conquer, and continue to appear. For now, I continue on. Thank you, dear ones.”

[montage of photos that make my cry from happiness]

I was very emotional; when sand from our night in the desert fell out of my shoes I burst out crying. Part of it was the transition back to being on my own again, and part was missing Jonathan; a wonderful man that I have grown to care for and appreciate more and more over our two weeks together. I would not have had half as good a time or seen these things without him. We have the same laid-back attitude about traveling and even the difficult times were easier having him with me. We will continue to have a dear friendship, if not more. That day after he left I laid in bed most of the afternoon, thinking about the last 5 months and trying to plan and prepare for the next 5 more.

I’ve come to think of that emotional fear of being alone/out of place/lost/overwhelmed as being just like a wailing a child. Occasionally when things seem hard it will kick and cry, but after awhile it learns that crying doesn’t help make it easier, and as I continue to fight on regardless of the fears I can feel my emotional center learning that fear will not change the outcome. I’m still going to do it anyway. There continue to be moments of weakness and fear, but they are less now, and I know that they will pass.

Mixed with my dreams of stealing camels from Berber Kings with Jonathan are dreams of the Swiss Alps.

This will be my 20th country since February (Panama, USA, France, Spain, Portugal, Germany, Sweden, Norway, Croatia, Bosnia, Montenegro, Turkey, England, Wales, Ireland, Scotland, Jordan, Egypt, Morocco, Switzerland), on 4 continents (North America, Europe, Asia, Africa). If I don’t start the count until leaving for France on March 26 it would be 20 countries next week when I add Lichtenstein and Austria to the list. Either way the tally makes me happy.

I arrived in Zurich and felt comfortable and relieved. The weather was cool, the transportation systems easy and logical, and everything was friendly and clean. I stayed with a woman named Deha from AirBnb, which was really exactly what I needed. She is young, 20 years old, but has already become a youth journalist, has built an incredible chic apartment of transformable furniture, and has learned enough about herself to take a new name. We talked about my travels and her recent summer class learning about urban landscape planning in Singapore; this reminded me to look into continuing education courses in addition to volunteering in the next few months. We talked about her yogi and she recommended a yoga center in India. She did my laundry, fed me an awesome breakfast and packed me an awesome veggie-filled lunch. What a bright soul to encourage me off into this next stage!

Since some people (Mom) have been wondering where I go from here, this a quick upload:

As I write this I am on a train from Zurich to the Alpine town of Zermatt. I’ve heard everything is super expensive there since it is

the

place to see the Matterhorn and hike in that region, so I’ve loaded up my bag with groceries and am praying that the hostel has a kitchen! I will be there for 2 nights and then transfer to Grindelwald for more hiking in the Jungfrau region. From there it is off to the Bavaria region of southern Germany via a night in Lichtenstein. I finish my last leg of Europe in Munich where I will need to go to the US Embassy to get more pages added to my passport!

I have been hoping to fly from Munich to Moscow and from there take the Trans-Siberian Railway to Mongolia. However it seems like getting the Russian visa is too difficult and time-consuming to get while on the road so I will probably fly directly to Ulaanbaatar from Munich. In Mongolia I hope to get in some horse trekking and who knows what else! I am giving myself a few weeks there to do what feels right before heading to either Nepal/India or Beijing&Hong Kong before meeting my friend Daisy in Thailand.

Until soon! For now the adventure continues!